August 5, 2018by John0

Feeling Stuck?


What is holding you back from achieving your fitness goals?

Goals are a funny thing, we can say we want something, but if you aren’t actually taking any steps to get there, they are just dreams and not really goals.  Dreams are something that we think we want, but don’t do anything to change or move forward towards them. The universe isn’t going to reach down and bestow upon you any divine gifts if you aren’t moving towards achieving them.

Yes I tried the blond thing.. no it wasn’t more fun.

Look I’m not a psychologist, but over the almost 20 years and thousands and thousands of hours working with hundreds of clients I’ve learned a lot about the human condition. I know people, specifically when it comes to how we treat ourselves when it comes to our health. I started as a kind of shy husky kid that just wanted to be accepted.  I knew what I thought I wanted and did almost everything in my power to get there, and once I achieved that lofty goal and ended up in workout and fitness magazines, that very point when I thought I would have it all figured out, I didn’t. I still felt like that same kid, not appreciated or accepted for me. I look back now that I’m (…ahem) a ‘little’ older at all those photos of myself and think wow I looked really amazing, but remember how insecure and unhappy I was back then. It took me some time and some real growth moments to realize personal acceptance and appreciation for yourself at every stage of your journey is the key to being happier and gives you the strength and courage to keep making good choices for yourself.

People often get stuck in a fear paralysis- fear of the unknown, fear of failure, or even fear of success. I don’t know how to get there, so it’s safer just not to try. That’s a victim mindset, and guess what, that’s exactly what you will attract. People often feel held hostage in their own bodies because they understand so little about them. They can be book smart, but not understand that what they put into their bodies or choices they make have lead them to the exact spot they are currently stuck in. I get it, it’s hard to be honest with yourself and look around and wonder how did I get here? Why did I do that? Why are my perceived goals not aligned with my actions?

So let’s start with our why before we look at our how… Why do you want to make a change?  Not because of anybody else… You! What matters to you? Is it because you finally want to feel better, are you scared of dying? Is fitting into those jeans really the top goal, or do you just want to be loved and accepted. If that’s the case, just take a moment and know that you are enough for you or anyone else right now. I don’t want to gloss over that, but if you can get there mentally, you are ready to make a change from a place of love and acceptance for yourself.  You can’t ask others to do something you are not willing to do for yourself.

“Why are my perceived goals not aligned with my actions?”

So, now that you are considering some changes in your fitness, Congratulations!


You are at least aware something in your life isn’t working for you anymore. If it’s coming from a place of guilt, who’s ideals is that based on? Who is saying you have to look a certain way or be a certain thing? Often we take on what others have projected upon us, it feels like a burden because it’s not ours. We didn’t decide that we needed to be that, someone else has decided for us and we just accepted it.

Ok, so now we know why… now we need to figure out how.


You have to walk before you run… so literally if your goal is run a half marathon, but you can’t even walk the distance, it’s time to get walking. See baby steps, this stuff is easy right?

Instead of this huge looming end goal which can seem impossible, work backwards and figure out all the little steps along the way. You want to lose weight, start exercising little, and making healthier choices. Talk to others that have done well and figure out what worked for them. When you have done what you are capable of doing on your own, hire a trainer learn what they know, then find another one and learn what they know.

Educate yourself on nutrition, figure out what works best when it comes to food. Do you have food allergies, or sensitivities? Maybe seek out some expert help like a naturopath, or other Dr.?

Where is your awareness? Were you focus is where you end up. If all you can think about is this fat belly or this skinny arm guess what?  That’s what you will have. If you focus on what’s good instead of what’s bad, you will start to notice more of what’s good, and trust me on this, the universe will put more good in front of you. Obsessing about love handles is like walking backwards and wondering why you aren’t getting ahead. Work on your mindfulness, start listening to inspiring podcasts, meditate, do what you need to do to maintain a positive state of mind.

Maybe you need to leave yourself reminders to keep you on track, put a chart on the fridge of what your goals are, healthy meal choices, workout ideas- join some classes and find some like-minded friends – do some fun shit, and reward yourself now and then for a job well done. Instead of having a food based treat, how about something more supportive of your goals. The buzz you get after a good massage is way better than the buzz after chocolate cake.

So look, change is hard, especially when it comes to ourselves. It’s not rocket science, (ok, maybe a little rocket stuff…. “One small step…”) Most of it comes from knowing yourself which is way harder than making it to the gym on the regular. If you take the time you just might find out you are pretty awesome. How cool is that?